


Sweet Pea

by GeekyGirlfriends



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Kid Fic, M/M, Minor Character Death, Self-Harm, because Spock hates himself and gets reckless in chapter 10, one of those awful stories where the mother dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2018-12-18 01:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11863668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekyGirlfriends/pseuds/GeekyGirlfriends
Summary: McCoy's life is turned upside down when, in a sudden accident, he finds himself a single father with a choice to make: resign from Starfleet or stay and risk his daughter's life and health every second she's on the Enterprise. The choice is simple enough for him, he never liked space that much to begin with.Spock is flabbergasted at the sight of McCoy's daughter. Joana is half Vulcan and half human just as he is. He finds that this new information puts all of McCoy's diatribes and debating into a completely different light. A light that he is not sure McCoy wants to recognize in full.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on a dream I had where McCoy rescued a Vulcan looking Joanna from a shuttle while Spock stood in stunned silence nearby. 
> 
> Also, I'm not abiding by Joanna's "cannon" age with things being what they are.

McCoy puttered about the biology lab, tinkering with an immunobooster that might actually help the crew against unknown pathogens.  _Might_ , being the keyword there. Just as he raised his head from an electron microscope he heard Jim on the intercom, "Bones, get to the transporter room ASAP. We're beaming aborad some people that might be hurt." 

 

McCoy quickly stood up, grabbed his medical tricorder, and brashly said, "On my way!"

 

He shot out of the biology lab and ran down to the hall. He fully intended to be there before anyone who might be beamed aboard. Back in his days at Old Mis, what felt like a century ago, a professor had told his class, "We may be able to revive patients but every second still matters. Every single moment is a line in the sand between life and death. Don't y'all  _ever_ waste that leeway. If someone is suffering y'all best be sprinting, out of breath, and suffering to save them." Dr. McCoy heard those poignant words ring in his ears as he did every time he was in this situation. As always, he picked up his pace a little bit and almost slammed into the transporter room door, only for it to swiftly open just in time for him to slide through. 

 

He stood, caught his breath, and watched on as two figures materialized on the transporter platform. One immediately slumped over onto the floor while the other wailed woefully. The wailing figure was just a small child, could hardly be more than eight years old. She desperately clutched at her mother's shirt. McCoy carefully walked over and knelt by the dark-skinned Vulcan woman. McCoy realized there was a large gaping wound that ran straight through the woman's abdomen. He closed his tricorder and turned the woman over to look at her face. Dark green blood slowly, calmly, trickled out of the corner of her mouth. He suddenly became very pale and muttered, in abject defeat, "There's nothing I can do for her."

 

He reached over and held onto the young girl's hands, gently pulling them away from the fabric they had so been so direly twisted in. He tenderly held her hands in his own and looked into those lovely big brown eyes he had, sadly, not seen in years.

 

Her big doe eyes widened with realization. He nodded at something that was unspoken but clearly there in her mind. She threw her arms around him in a bruising hug while pressing her face into his shirt and muttering, "Papa."

 

"I've got you, sweet pea." With just a bit of struggle, he picked her up and carried her out of the transporter room and toward sickbay.

 

Spock stood at the transporter controls, he had been a silent witness to the whole exchange. His eyebrows knitted together just barely hinting at what was swelling up within him -- confusion, slight shock, concern, and intrigue. After a moment longer standing stock still behind the controls with his thoughts, he moved to collect and store the body of, who he could only hypothesize was, McCoy's ex-wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the first chapter of a multi-chapter fic. I have the next few chapters already drafted up but I'm not entirely sure I'll finish this anytime soon. I've got a lot on my plate between college and work so I apologize in advance for not uploading chapters at regular intervals.


	2. Chapter 2

McCoy gently laid Joanna down on one of the beds in Sickbay. He glanced up at the monitor softly beeping and displaying her vitals. He sighed, so relieved she was not in any true danger. He smiled down at her as he tenderly cupped one of her cheeks in his hand. "You're going to be just fine, sweet pea. Just a few little burns." 

 

She looked up at him, her eyebrows knitted together under a small shock of dark curls. "What about mother?" She had not been crying before but now her lip quivered and her eyes glistened. 

 

McCoy felt like he was living the kind of nightmare only a doctor could have. He looked away from her and took a deep breath. "There was nothing I could do for her when she beamed aboard. She was already gone. I'm sorry, Joanna." T'Lara may have done him wrong in the past but he had still loved her once upon a time. Seeing her, mangled by plasma . . . it tore up a place inside that he had long forgotten even existed. It stung something fierce and he probably would have started to cry in the wake of these events too but, somehow, found himself unable to cry. He just tried to keep going on with life as usual until he could pull himself out from the undertow of everything going on around him. He took out a dermal regenerator and started to heal his daughter's wounds as if she were any other patient. 

 

Suddenly, Joanna became very still and very quiet. Bones looked up and saw big, silent, tears rolling down his baby's face. Of course, she was hardly an _infant_ anymore but she was still a baby to him. She was still so young and so small. She was far too young to be going through all that she was. In that moment, he just wanted to rip out his heart and throw it out the nearest airlock. And, in that moment, all he could think to say was, "I know." He vainly wiped at her still flowing tears and finished healing her burns. He gently pushed her bangs back away from her forehead and quietly asked, "You feel a bit better now, sweet pea?" She shook her head. "And why's that, darlin?"

 

"I'm not allowed to feel anything." She quickly scrubbed her face with the heels of her palms. 

 

Now, McCoy wanted to throw his heart out the airlock even more than before. "No, you _are_ allowed to feel, hon. Here you're allowed to feel."

 

"Why aren't you crying then?"

 

"Because my emotions are all mixed up and I don't know which ones to listen to right now." It  _was_ the truth. "Come on, let's go over to your old Pa's quarters. You can rest and have some peace and quiet there. Does that sound good, sweet pea?" She simply nodded. "Okay, let's head out then." He helped her down from the medical bed and held her hand as he led her to his quarters. He made a mental note to message Christine about what had happened and ask if she could cover for him the rest of the day.

 

He led her into his quarters and to his bed. He helped her up onto the bed and took off her shoes. "Papa, I could have taken off my own shoes."

 

Bones frowned a bit. "I know, sweet pea. You old pa is just a bit rusty. Last time I really saw you must have been when you were only three." He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, not quite meeting his daughter's soft brown eyes.

 

"It's okay, papa. I don't mind." He smiled up at her. At least she had enough heart to let him off the hook like that.

 

"Thanks. Now, you just lay down and rest here for a spell. I'll stay a while but if you wake up and I'm not here just go over to that communications station and ask Uhura to patch you through to me, okay?" She nodded and laid down. McCoy drew the covers up over her. He gently kissed her head and said, "Sleep tight, sweet pea. Papa loves you very much."

 

She gave him a very small, weak, smile and turned over in his bed. Bones turned off the lights and sat there in the dark with her. He lightly sang a soft and sweet melody that he'd sung Joanna to sleep with the last time he had put her to bed. 

 

 

> Bye lo, baby, bye lo, baby.   
>  Bye lo, baby, bye lo baby bye.   
>  Daddy still loves you, daddy still loves you.   
>  Daddy still loves you, though hes gone to war.   
>  He misses Baby, he misses Baby.   
>  He misses Baby, he will be home soon.   
>  Bye lo, baby, bye lo, baby.   
>  Bye lo, baby, bye lo baby bye.   
>  Daddy was wounded, dont you worry baby.   
>  Daddy was wounded, but he holds to you. 

 

McCoy started to cry, big, messy, quiet tears rolling down his cheeks. He grabbed at his chest and sang the last lines even quieter, his voice trembling. 

 

 

> Daddy cries for you, daddy prays for you.   
>  Daddy is crying, but he thinks of you.

 

He put his head in his hands and desperately whispered, "What am I going to do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try and at least upload a new chapter every week but I still haven't written an end to this fic so I'm sorry if I slow down a bit with uploads after the next few chapters.


	3. Chapter 3

Spock caught McCoy just as he was leaving his quarters. "Dr. McCoy," Spock called.

 

Leonard turned around to properly look at Spock. His face was still red and blotchy from crying. He wearily asked, "What is it, Spock?"

 

Spock almost looked surprised by Leonard'appearancece; he had never seen the good doctor in such a state before. "How is your daughter?" It was hardly the question he had come to ask but it seemed unwise to say anything that would further upset the doctor. 

 

McCoy's face lit up as if to say, "Who in God's name told  _you_?!" But, after a beat, he had centered himself enough to evenly reply, "She's doing just fine given the circumstances. She's resting now." 

 

"And you?"

 

McCoy narrowed his eyes and squared his shoulders. "What are you trying to get at Spock?"

 

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I am merely concerned for the emotional well-being of the ship's only surgeon."

 

"Well, between you me, Spock, you don't need to be  _concerned_ because pretty soon I won't be the ship's CMO anymore." He hotly stared up at Spock. 

 

The first office minutely raised both of his eyebrows. "And why is that?"

 

McCoy lightly stamped one of his feet and angrily whispered, "Because I'm putting in my resignation, dammit! I know there ain't no rule against keeping Joanna here with me but she's just not damn safe here. Don't you get that? Ten or more highly trained Starfleet personnel die every other week on this ship. This is no place for a child and until I've got her out of harm's way I know I'll be up half of every night worried sick tomorrow may be my little girl's last day alive just because Jim decided to do some damn idiotic thing like start an intergalactic war!" Leonard huffed, almost out of breath from regurgitating so much twisted up emotion. 

 

Spock was deeply surprised. He had never known Leonard to feel so passionately about his daughter's safety. "A very logical choice, doctor. While you are away would you like me to watch over Joanna should she awake in your absence?"

 

He looked Spock up and down, trying and failing to find some kind of ulterior motive woven into the fabric of his being. He sighed and some of the tension left his shoulders. "Yes, I'd appreciate that. It's . . . it's mighty kind of you to offer your time like that, Spock."

 

"It is merely the logical thing to do for a friend in need." It was the truth, mostly.

 

Leonard stared up at Spock a little longer than was explicitly necessary. "It's still mighty kind of you. If she wants me then I'll just be over at Jim's."

 

"I assumed as much. Should she awake, I assure you I will try to care for her just as you might." He was sincere. He would care for her in the human way until told to do otherwise. 

 

McCoy gave a small smile and nod before turning and walking in the direction of the Captain's quarters. 

 

Spock walked into Leonard's quarters, stepping lightly so as not to alert little ears. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a kind of short chapter so I figured I might as well post it along with the last one.

Bones rung the chime to his friend's quarters. "Come in," Jim called from within his room. McCoy strode in and was immediately confronted with the sight that was Jim's naked torso. Well, that was just typical. But, after seeing the look on McCoy's face Jim quickly pulled on the nearest shirt and took on a more concerned and captain-like expression and posture. He came closer to Leonard and gently asked, "What is it, Bones?"

 

"You know that Vulcan woman and her daughter that y'all beamed aboard earlier today?" He half expected Jim to already know the full story, with the crew (namely Spock) being as nosey as possible.

 

"Yes, I remember. The woman died of her wounds if I recall correctly . . . It's not your fault, Bones. Sometimes we're put into impossible circumstances." He was clueless. Leonard could not decide if it was better or worse this way.

 

"Well, you see, it's more, uh,  _impossible_ than just my losing a patient in this star-filled hellscape. She was my ex-wife, Jim. The girl, well, she's my daughter. My little Joanna."

 

Jim stood there in silence, completely shocked for a moment. He leaned back against the edge of his desk. "Bones, I never knew -- I would never have thought your ex-wife was a Vulcan. You're always so . . ." He gestured nebulously, trying and failing to find the right word. "With Spock, that is." 

 

"Yeah, well, that's beside the point, Jim. The reason I came here is to put in my resignation from Starfleet." 

 

"But, why?" 

 

McCoy rolled his eyes. "Jim, who in the hell else is going to raise Joanna? You think I want her on this ship so she can have her brain hijacked, or her atoms scrambled into another dimension, or have her contract any number of hellish and incurable space plagues? Do you really want me to stay here, putting my daughter in mortal danger, just because y'all would miss my bedside manner? This ain't about what we want, anymore. This is about what's best for my daughter. You hear me loud and clear through that perfect hair, Jim-boy?" Bones wagged his finger at Jim. He was too stressed and worried to have any kind of patience for any of the stalling antics Jim might pull. If he did not make himself clear in his need to leave Starfleet he was sure Jim would try to keep him around with what would, at any other time, be light-hearted ways of delaying him. But, right now, the sooner he got Joanna away the better. Even the Enterprise was a screaming metal death trap onto its own, comprised of mostly untested or under-tested technology that tended to cause panels to explode in people's faces when given the slightest provocation. 

 

Jim stood up straight. "Alright, Bones. Just breath." He gently held McCoy by the shoulders. "I know you're worried but everything will be okay, Bones." 

 

Leonard just nodded. At this rate, he was going to start crying again. Jim pulled him into a tight hug. Bones weakly returned the embrace and quietly threatened, "If you don't get my request to Starfleet ASAP I'll give you them Rmulan ears back and make you eat salad for every meal." 

 

Jim chuckled a bit. "Okay, Bones. I'll get to it right after you leave." 

 

"You better!"

 


	5. Chapter 5

Spock walked into McCoy's quarters and quietly navigated them in the darkness. He settled into the chair in Leonard's bedroom so as to closely observe the child while she slept. He aimlessly read a PADD he had brought in with him. After approximately .65 hours he started to hear Joanna stir. He looked away from his PADD and found she was staring at him, most likely trying to make out who he was. 

 

"Computer, raise lights fifty percent," he commanded. 

 

Joanna looked at him even more puzzled than before. "Who are you?"

 

"I am S'chn T'gai Spock, one of your father's closest friends." 

 

She looked around, her eyes the slightest bit panicked for a second. "Why are you here?" There was just the smallest touch of fright in her young voice. 

 

"Your father needed to attend to some matters with the Captain of this ship and I offered to watch over you in his brief absence."

 

Joanna stared at him, her eyes narrowing a bit. She was very evidently transfixed on his facial features. "You're half human too, aren't you?"

 

Spock nodded slightly and said with a tinge of wonderment, "Yes, I am. How did you come to that conclusion?" 

 

She gave the slightest smile, revealing a missing baby tooth or two. "You have canine teeth like mine and your ears aren't as pointy as other Vulcans." 

 

Spock raised his eyebrows, somewhat impressed. "Those are very keen observation. Did you perform well in the sciences during your schooling?" 

 

"Yes, but the other kids were distracting . . ."  She looked down at her hands as she gently pushed them together into a meditative position. "They took note of my teeth and ears before I ever considered them different. They told me that I looked like a barbarian and that . . . I was an illogical mistake." She closed her eyes and tightly pressed her hands together. 

 

He gently touched her shoulder to bring her out of the bad memories. "[I know your pain well, Joanna.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTaBZsGBtc4)"

 

She looked into his eyes, her face contorted somewhere between a desperate need to sob and a desperate want to remain in control because anything but control was illogical.

 

"Your response need not be logical when their taunts and words were wholly illogical and uncalled for." 

 

She let her face relax minutely and hung her head as a few tears slid down her cheek. "It's so hard being like this. How did you find peace?" 

 

" . . . Haphazardly and at my own detriment." 

 

She scrubbed at her face with the palms of her hands. "Do you think I'll ever find peace?" 

 

"If you can find balance, then yes. Otherwise, I cannot say. But, given you will most likely go to live on Earth with your father and he will welcome emotional expression you're far more likely to find balance than I was solely living on Vulcan." 

 

Joanna was quiet for a moment. "I know very little about him. I last saw him when I was almost four and mother had taken him before the Vulcan courts. He yelled in a silent room and mother won the case and sole custody of me. He was surprised I even remembered him on sight."

 

"I was surprised as well. He never mentioned your mother was Vulcan . . ." Spock trailed off as he heard McCoy enter. Leonard strolled into his bedroom. His face was even more of a mess than when Spock had seen it last no more than an hour ago. "What did the Captain have to say?"

 

"He promised he would get my resignation up to Starfleet HQ as soon as possible. I hope he isn't going to try anything foolish to get me to stay." He smiled down at Joanna and sat on the edge of her bed. "How're you feeling, sweet pea? Spock take good care of you while your old pa was off taking care of business?" 

 

She nodded. "Yeah, his company was . . ." She looked up at Spock and finally finished her sentence, "It was illuminating." 

 

Bones smiled widely at both of them. "Why, that's lovely. Though, I'd hate to keep your Uncle Spock here much longer. I'm sure he has some data to compile or something. Right, Spock?" He shot the science officer a pointed look.

 

Spock could take a hint when he saw one. "Indeed. Until our next meeting, Joanna."  Spock stood and silently gave the live long and prosper symbol. Joanna returned the gesture and Spock left.

 

The doctor had merely been looking for an excuse but he had been right. Spock did, in actuality, have much data to compile -- data about Leonard's past. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know it isn't a plot point in canon but I headcanon that Vulcans evolved duller and smaller canine teeth due to centuries of a vegetarian diet. Also, I know in canon Spock's ears aren't less pointed than other Vulcans ears but I picture it being one of those things where, unless you're constantly around Vulcans, you'd never notice the difference because it is extremely slight.
> 
> And, side note, while I was thinking of the above I imagined Spock probably has to do his eyebrows to make them look perfect and totally Vulcan.


	6. Chapter 6

Joanna listlessly gazed out the porthole in the new quarters her and her father had been granted. McCoy watched her closely. She had grieved for her mother but it had seemed like far too short of a turn around for Leonard's comfort. It had only been a month since the accident and, given Leonard had first-hand experience losing a parent, he knew the turn around was _not_ that fast. He was worried lasting mental scars would form if she had stifled her emotions for his sake. As he continued to fold laundry and tidy up their (relatively) spacious quarters, he meditated on how quick Joanna had been to clam up once he had expressed any emotional at all in response to her own state. Sure he had not wanted to worry the poor girl even more but, how could he  _not_ be emotional when his child was having such a hard go of things. 

 

"Papa?"

 

Her voice had brought him out of his thoughts. McCoy straightened up and expectantly looked toward his daughter. "What is it, Sweet Pea?"

 

"What will living on Earth be like?"

 

Leonard thought for a spell before pulling up a chair so he could sit across from her while they talked. "The weather will be about the same -- just about as hot as Vulcan only more humid. Earth is a lot greener too." He scratched under his chin and chuckled. "It's kinda funny. Earth is green and humans have red blood but Vulcan is red and Vulcans have green blood. We're all switched up."

 

Joanna stared on at him, obviously somewhere between unamused and uninterested. "I think you'll like the fact you won't have them Vulcan purity police to look out for on Earth. I think you'll make friends nice and easy. We'll have a little place in Atlanta and you'll go to one of the best STEM schools because you love science so much. I'm sure you'll do just great there. You're the smartest kid there is. Just don't forget that, okay darlin'?" He smiled widely, his bright blue eyes twinkling with genuine and undying pride for his brilliant child.

 

She gave him a small, reserved, smile. "Thank you. That statement is illogical but it did lift my spirits." 

 

Some part of Leonard worriedly wondered if Joanna's logic would ever get on his nerves. "Well, I'm just glad I could make you smile, logic or not." Just then the door chime rang. "Whoever it is can come in," Bones called.

 

Spock and Kirk walked in, Spock reticent and resolute as ever and Kirk looking a bit put out in general. Not that looking somewhat miffed was uncommon for a Captain who broke a few regulations every time he opened his mouth but, nonetheless, the look Jim had on now definitely unsettled Bones. Kirk came forward, "Bones, can I have a word with you? Alone if Joanna wouldn't mind spending some time with her Uncle Spock over here." He lightly gestured back toward Spock who simply nodded. 

 

McCoy instantly felt lost. He knew this could hardly be good. He hesitated for a moment, looking between Joanna and his friends. He sighed and put on the best calm and collected voice he could for Joanna's benefit. "I suppose that would be fine, Jim. I know Joanna wouldn't mind spending some time with her favorite uncle." He tried to exude his usual playful charm as he looked back at Joanna for confirmation. 

 

Joanna tilted her head to the side and shrugged slightly. "I guess I do think Spock is more relatable than my other 'aunts' and 'uncles' are." 

 

"Alright, sweet pea. Papa's gonna take care of some business and you and Uncle Spock can stick around while I'm off with Uncle Jim." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. He smiled down at her, still trying to radiate an air of ease and not let her know how nervous he was. "I love you." 

 

Joanna looked up at him, eyes wide with the inability to process what her father had just said. McCoy shuffled his feet and mentally beat himself with the thickest iron beam he could imagine. He inwardly bristled at his own parental ineptitude. Just as McCoy was about to apologize, Joanna lifted one hand up and brushed it against her father's cheek, telling him that she loved him too in the only way that felt right to her. 

 

McCoy markedly relaxed. "Have a good time with Spock. I won't be gone long." He shot Spock a pointed glower as if to say, "I'm freaking the fuck out but please don't tell Joanna, Spock." 

 

And, without further ado, Bones followed Jim out of his quarters. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this update didn't go up on Sunday like all my others have. Life happened and I'd say that I'll try to be more on top of this in the future but, frankly, school and work come first. Hopefully, I'll be able to upload the next chapter on time, though.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for there not being an update last week in spite of the last chapter being somewhat of a cliffhanger. I was just too tired to post since school and work have been kicking my ass lately. Anyway, I'm going to try and get up two chapters today to make up for it. Thanks for your patience!

McCoy followed Jim over to his quarters, tailing him in an unnerved silence. Bones felt a rock settling in his stomach from his nerves of the situation unfolding around him. He was sure this had to be about his resignation. He was sure this was going to be about some kind of uppity Starfleet order saying he could not be discharged because of one reason or another. He could really use a belt right now. 

 

Jim must have read his mind because once they got to Jim's quarters he immediately broke out the Saurian Brandy and poured each of them a glass. He handed the glass to Bones, but Bones did not sip from it just yet. "What's all this about, Jim? What's going on?" he finally blurted out.

 

Jim sat down at the table in his quarters and gestured for Bones to do the same. Once Leonard was seated across from him, Jim finally started to explain. "Bones, they won't let you go."

 

The good doctor slammed his glass down on the table, some of the bandy sloshing out and onto the table. "Goddamnit, I knew that was it. Did those pencilneck pencil-pushers up at HQ say why in the hell I can't go home with my child?"

 

Jim took a sip of his drink. He matter-of-factly said, "It's because you're the ship's doctor. Starfleet doesn't have enough doctor's to go around right now."

 

"That's a load of bull and you know it! There were at least 20 different cadets lined up to take the CMO position before we left space dock. Where are they now? At home curled up with their own loved ones, too scared to face what they signed up for?" Bones gulped down his drink all at once before loudly setting his glass back down on the table. "Damn ignoramuses. Who the hell sends a ship out here with only one doctor anyway? My God." 

 

"I know, Bones. I know. I told them as much and, I think I have a solution." 

 

He held out his glass. "Give me a refill before you broadside me with this original Jim Kirk scheme of yours."

 

Jim chuckled and filled up Leonard's glass. "It's not quite a 'scheme' though, Bones. I did negotiate with Starfleet about this. They told me that if we could find a replacement for you, they would reconsider your resignation." 

 

"Who else is a doctor and this far out in the middle of nowhere, Jim? Seems like every time we land somewhere there's no real medical personnel anywhere to be found and I get stuck with delivering a baby or plastering up a silicone-based cave carver or trying to stop an empath from committing suicide over some experiment. Who the hell else is there other than me?" He gulped down his drink in one shot.

 

"You're not wrong, Bones. But, you're forgetting about someone."

 

"And who would that be?"

 

"Doctor M'Benga."

 

Bones incredulously stared Kirk down. "He took off to do research on that one planet last year, Jim. Don't be pulling my leg here."

 

"I know, Bones. But, we might be able to convince him to come back. We could tell him about the circumstances and I'm sure he would understand. Maybe he could even give you some tips since he did intern on Vulcan." Jim smirked. 

 

Bones sighed loudly, he had half a mind to wipe that smirk off Jim's face. "Jim, I don't need parenting tips. Just, do whatever it is you have to do to get me off this ship and I'll be happy." 

 

"Of course, Bones." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I don't think I've mentioned it before but this takes place after the third season of the original series. So, they're around year four of the five-year mission right now.


	8. Chapter 8

Spock busied himself setting up a 3D chess set McCoy had stored away. Of course, Leonard did not play the game but a chess set came regulation with every room to provide entertainment and, as Starfleet justified it, to keep mental skills sharp. He carefully set each piece exactly in place and noticed that Joanna was intently watching him. Once he finished setting the board, he gestured to it. "Would you like to be white or black?" 

 

She considered this for a moment. "Black, I think." Spock motioned for her to sit across from him and he made the first move. She sat down and studied the board for a second before she quickly made her move. Joanna nonchalantly asked, "It was about papa's resignation, wasn't it?"

 

Spock raised an eyebrow. "What leads you to believe that?"

 

"Papa looked very worried." Spcok moves one of his pawns and Joanna immediately takes it with one of her own.

 

"I think your father would disapprove of me telling you this but, because you've already deduced it, I will confirm that you're right. Starfleet has rejected his request for resignation and he will have to remain here under penalty of law until the mission ends or we acquire a new physician for the ship."

 

Joanna shakes her head. "He's going to be very very worried." 

 

"Indeed." Spock moves one of his knights. "Do his emotions bother you?" He had known McCoy to be almost over-emotional compared to most humans. It bothered him at some points but it was less because of the sheer fact McCoy had emotions and more so because of how he sometimes wished he could express himself as strongly.

 

Joanna moves one of her rooks. "Sometimes. But, I think it's just because I'm not used to them. It was different with mother. She felt too but . . . it wasn't as obvious because she underwent Kohlinar not too long after I was born." 

 

"The ritual should have cleansed her of all emotion, though."

 

"I know. And that's one of the reasons why she and Papa broke their bond. He couldn't feel her presence anymore and he was angry she would carry out Kohlinar without any thought for him or me. I understand why he would be upset but he was wrong. I know she still felt emotion."

 

Spock moved his other knight. "Are you suggesting Kohlinar didn't work for her?"

 

Joanna thinks for a moment. "No, it did work but . . . her actions showed emotion. Attachment is inherently emotional and she was obviously very attached to me. To live without emotion, someone would need to undergo Kohlinar and then live a monastic life." She takes his knight with her rook. "It wasn't just her actions either. I did feel her love for me sometimes, very faintly. I . . . I felt it when she shielded me from the blast right before she died . . ." She takes a deep breath to compose herself and then sighs. 

 

"It's understandable the incident is still affecting you. It's still very recent." Spcok pointedly glanced at her as he toyed with one of his pawns. He felt for Joanna and her current situation. 

 

"I know. But, I don't want to face it right now." Her eyes focused on the chess set before her as Spock moved his pawn. "Are you bonded, Spock? Do you have any children?"

 

Spock faltered a bit, almost knocking over one of the pieces on his side of the board. "No, I am not bonded nor do I have children." 

 

"Why?" Joanna moved a rook over to castle her king. "You're old enough . . ."

 

"My betrothed did not want me. And, even if she had, I doubt we would have been able to have children without some medical intervention. There are complications in every medical aspect of my life so I doubt that part would have been untouched by my dual heritage. You may face the same issues as well, should you bond and choose to have a family one day." He moves a pawn randomly, feeling somewhat uncomfortable with the current discourse. 

 

Joanna immediately takes the pawn. "I think adoption would be the most logical choice. Or, you could bond with someone who already has children."

 

"Perhaps." He does not like where he thinks Joanna might be going with this. He moved his queen out, intending to swiftly end their game.

 

"Papa likes you." 

 

Spock coughed slightly, taken aback by how upfront Joanna was being right now. "I know, we have been friends for a few years now."

 

Joanna shook her head slightly. "I mean romantically." 

 

"And how do you know this?" Spock clasped and unclasped his hands under the table, wanting to leave this topic and yet unable to say as much.

 

"He argues with you but doesn't truly feel angry with you. He's also intentionally been avoiding you since he put in his resignation. You should ask him on a date now that it's doubtful he'll be leaving." Joanna moves a knight forward to take Spock's queen. "Check." 

 

A light green blush colored Spock's cheeks. He hears the doors to McCoy's quarters open again. Aware Leonard must be returning from his talk with Jim, and he stands up preparing to leave. "Thank you for the game, Joanna. You are a formidable player." He glances over his shoulder see to McCoy walking toward Joanna, looking both downtrodden and keyed up with anxiety at the same time. "And I'll think about what you said." He makes the live long, and prosper sign with his hand and nods at McCoy in lieu of a goodbye before leaving their quarters, feeling utterly out of breath. 

 

He hastily walks to his own quarters and hurridly lights some incense, feeling that if he did not meditate right then and there he would lose himself in his emotions. He sits cross-legged on the floor and deeply breaths in and out.  _How could I have missed this for so long?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joanna manages to beat Spock in 3D chess because she distracted him with Emotional™ things.


	9. Chapter 9

Leonard had watched Spock go out the door in . . . If it had not been Spock he would have called it a tizzy. He turned toward Joanna, momentarily distracted from his own problems, he thumbed back toward the closed door and asked, "What's eating him?"

 

Joanna shrugged slightly. "I beat him in 3D chess." She started to put away the set back where McCoy had it stored before. 

 

Bones helped his child, putting away the rather heavy board for her while she gathered up the pieces. "Well, you must be some kinda chess master than to have beaten Spock of all people. The only other person who can beat him is your uncle Jim and he cheats by distracting Spock." He sat at the table and started to bite his nails, an old habit that liked to return whenever he was perpetually anxious without recourse. He had started prescribing himself medicine for his nerves. He had taken a pill just moments before, but it always took a while to kick in.

 

Joanna stood in front of him and gestured for the hand that currently occupied his mouth. Leonard wiped his hand on his pants and then gave it to her. She held his hand between her two smaller hands. "It's going to be okay, Papa."

 

Somehow, someway, that reassured Lenoard more than anything else. He cracked a small smile and ruffled her hair a bit. "Thank you. It's mighty kind of you to say that, sweet pea. Your old Pa's just worried about getting back to Earth."

 

Joanna nodded. "I know, Papa. I guessed what was wrong and Spock confirmed my guess."

 

Leonard sighed, almost wistful. "You've always been so bright, Joanna." Leonard could feel that medicine kicking in now, his heart rate slowing and his focus narrowing back down to the present. "We'll just have to make things work until we can get back to Earth."

 

She nodded. "Papa, I think I cheated during my game with Spock."

 

He cocked his head, somewhat surprised. "Why do you think that, sweet pea?"

 

She covered her mouth and spoke through her fingers. "I distracted him a lot." She looked away from her father.

 

McCoy smiled and leaned back in his chair. "How'd you do that?"

 

"I asked him if he had a family and if he wanted kids and then told him that you liked him in a, um, romantic way." She stared down at her feet, a light green blush starting to color the tips of her ears. It was obvious she wanted her father and Spock to be happy but also obvious she was now reconsidering what she had said to Spock.

 

Leonard sat there wide-eyed and his mouth agape for what felt like a century. How did she even  _know_ about that? He pinched the bridge of his nose and then extended his hand to lift up his daughter's chin so he could look at her and say what he needed to with true sincerity. "Joanna, I can't say I'm happy about this but I'm not upset with you. I know you were just trying to help but you shouldn't share people's secrets with others in the future, okay?" God, no wonder Spock had rushed out like that. Joanna had probably alienated him and now Spock would probably never look at him the same way. 

 

"Okay, Papa. I'm sorry but I thought it would be okay because he likes you too." 

 

He looked at her, extremely perplexed and incredulous. "He does?" She nodded. In a softer voice, he gently asked, "How do you know that for sure, sweet pea?"

 

She smiled slightly. "His voice changes when he talks about you. And, he sees you in a very good light even though you bother him a lot of the time and . . . don't always call him nice things." 

 

He looked her, total astonishment on his face. "I'm . . . I'm sorry, sweet pea. I didn't mean what I said to him he just . . ."

 

"Reminds you of mother. I know, papa. But you should apologize to him, not me." 

 

He sighed. "You're right, Joanna. You're right." He rubbed his face and the back of his neck. "I'll have to talk to him soon." 

 

"So, was what I did still bad?" She expectantly looked up at him, a minute twinkle in her big brown eyes.

 

A smile tugged at the corners of Leonard's face. He shook his head. "No, you just did what you thought was . . . logical." 


	10. Chapter 10

Spock faintly heard a knock at his door . . . possibly because he had disabled his door chime about a day or two ago. It was hard to tell time while he was in such deep meditation constantly. Several times Leonard had been at his door requesting to be let in so they could talk, he hand banged heavily on the door to Spock quarters, either unable or unwilling to use his medical override to get past the lock. 

 

The persistent knock he heard now was much lighter than Leonard's. It sounded like more of a polite tapping than anything else. Spock sighed and called out, "Who is it?"

 

"It's Christine and Nyota's here with me too. We're worried about you, Spock."

 

Uhura chimed in, "Won't you open up this door so we can at least give you some food? Wouldn't it be logical to at least accept that much?"

 

Spock slumped a bit, feeling the ache in his limbs from retaining a meditative posture and emptiness gnawing at his stomach. "Computer, unlock the door, code Spock Delta Two Two Three Zero Alpha." 

 

The door opened for Christine and Uhura. They hurried into his quarters and Nyota set down the tray of food she had been carrying. Chapel handed him a glass of water, "Here Spock, you look dehydrated. Please drink this." 

 

He readily accepted the glass, gulping it down quickly before peering over at the tray of food, noticing it was the Vulcan equivalent of what humans would call "comfort food." He ate the plomeek soup first and then carried onto eat the pok tar. He noticed how Christine and Uhura nervously stood by, whispering to each other about his condition but he tried to pay them no mind. 

 

"Spock, I'm just going to take a medical scan of you. Dr. McCoy is very worried about you . . . Your health, that is." Even the name made Spock stiffen up and stop eating momentarily as Christine scanned him. He knew he had to deal with all of this sooner rather than later but he hardly knew how. It was all so confusing to him. He could calculate astronomical equations in his head, no paper or machines needed, but he could not grasp and pin down these basic emotions. He considered that it might be because he felt shame whenever he felt anything but he _thought_ he had moved past that . . . at least for the most part. 

 

Uhura sat down next to him and put a caring hand on his back. "Spock, I don't mean to be a critic here but I don't think you should be shutting him out right now. He knows how hard emotions are for you." She lightly patted his back. 

 

Spock wanted to disappear. He wanted to leave this plane of existence so he at least didn't have to deal with his emotions anymore. All he could manage to say in that moment was, "I know." He stared down at the ground and pushed a hand through his already mussed and wild hair, feeling his nails scrap at his scalp and then his neck as his hand settled to rest where his neck met his shoulder. "What should I do? How would a human make this right?" 

 

"I know Leonard and I think you should start but just talking to him." Christine knelt down across from Spock. "He's going to seem very angry at first but that's just because he loves you and is so worried about you and how you feel right now."

 

Uhura added, "Tell him how you feel and go from there. There's nothing that can't be solved by talking. Though, that _is_ the advice any communications officer would give you, not just a human." She smiles brightly at him. 

 

He looks between the two of them, starting to wonder if meditating was more harmful than helpful in these matters. He made a mental note to try and simply talk out his problems and ask for advice in the future instead of trying to stomp down any emotions he had. He nods a bit and the tiniest bit of a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. "Thank you. For both the food and the advice. I will try to talk to Leonard."

 

Christine smiles widely at him. "Should we send him over after we leave?"

 

Spock took a deep breath in and then slowly breathed out. "Yes, thank you." 

 

Uhura patted his shoulder. "It's no problem, Spock. We're always here to help with your relationship problems." 

 

After they left, Spock got up and cleaned himself up. He splashed water on his face and combed his hair straight. He shaved and even put on some of the aftershave Jim had given him for Hannuka last year (even though Spock had been adamant he did not subscribe to his mother's religion). He changed into a clean shirt and pair of pants and then starred at his reflection in the small regulation mirror. He hardly knew what Leonard saw in him after all these years of jabs at his non-Terran heritage. He hardly knew what he would even be able to give Leonard at such a trying time during his life. Spock knew the both of them could be storms of pure emotion even on good days and he hardly knew how even just their friendship had not entirely fallen into tactless vitriol for vitriol's sake. 

 

He stared down his reflection, almost wanting to yell at the man before him. He tightly clenched a fist in front of him, half of a mind to smash the mirror, to destroy this overly clean and emotionless visage of himself. He was sure he had hurt Lenoard in ignoring him for the past several days. He was so afraid Leonard would never forgive him and their burgeoning relationship would be reduced to shambles almost instantly. 

 

In retrospect, he would not be able to recall the knock at his door. He would only be able to recall the loud crash of his reflection shattering and falling to the floor. He would recall the searing pain as he clutched his hand to his chest. He would recall seeing the spatter of green that coated his bathroom sink and floor. He would recall the now broken pieces of the mirror forming a new version of himself.

 

And he would then recall Lenoard rushing to his side, prying the hurt hand away from Spock's chest and cursing under his breath as he gingerly, lovingly, pulled out as much glass as he could without the help of tweezers. "You're damn lucky I showed up when I did."

 

After all was said and done, Spock would tell Leonard that he always felt lucky to have him around. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't updated in a couple weeks and I'm very sorry. Life, work, and school have just been very hectic of late plus all of the extra holiday stuff I've been up to. 
> 
> This semester ends on the 20th so, with any luck, the next update will happen sometime after that. Until then, this is officially on hiatus.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm officially back from hiatus and weekly updates will resume! We haven't much story left to cover! The way things look I'll have everything wrapped up by the end of January.

"What in Sam Hill's name were you thinking, Spock? Askin' after me then givin' me the scare of my  _life_." By God, he was angry with this horrific cherry on top of the giant stressful Sundae that had become his life. "Are you  _tryin'_ to die?"

 

Spock slightly cocked his head, perplexed. "Of course not, Leonard." 

 

Goddamnit that hit him like a ton of bricks. The fact Spock was actually using his first name for once . . . It made his heart burst. With much less vitriol he mumbled, "Well you coulda fooled me." He led Spock by the hands out of the bathroom and into his living room. "Now you just sit right down and don't touch that hand or do any other foolish things while I go fetch a dermal regenerator."

 

Spock sat down on his couch and looked up at Leonard.

 

McCoy nodded and left Spock's quarters. After the door closed he leaned back against the wall next to the doorway. He put a hand on his chest and muttered, "Whoever the hell is up there sure likes to fuck with me." He took a deep breath and then went on his way over to the first aid station just a ways down the corridor. He continued to mutter under his breath, "Bastard has the  _audacity_ to call me Leonard after giving me the cold shoulder for days." He angrily opened the first aid station mounted to the wall, grabbed what he needed, and then slammed it shut. "Should give him a piece of my mind."

 

"Did Spock finally come out of hiding?" Bones nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Jim's voice out of nowhere. 

 

McCoy turned to face his friend. "He did but he also got into some damn foolish nonsense and hurt himself." He sighed. "I'll tell you about it later, I still have to patch him up the rest of the way."

 

"Need me to keep an eye on Joanna?" Jim's voice was as soft as his heart.

 

"Christine's watching her now but you could take over if I'm not back by 2000 hours. Joanna goes to bed around that time and she's been begging for more bedtime stories about Uncle Jim's misadventures." 

 

Jim smirks. "With any luck, she'll learn from all my mistakes."

 

"With any luck, she won't be so stupid as the both of us and join Starfleet."

 

Jim shrugged a bit. "At least you made some good friends along the way. Good luck with Spock, by the way." 

 

"Thanks, I'll need it. I gotta get back to him, I'll see you later."

 

"See ya around, Bones."

 

They parted ways and upon entering Spock's quarters he found the subject of his heartache (and many headaches) just where he had left him. He sat down on the couch next to Spock and pulled out a dermal regenerator. "Here, could I see that again?" He gestured to the injured hand. Spock silently extended his hand toward Bones. The good doctor carefully ran the dermal regenerator over all the cuts and abrasions, watching them slowly heal and start to fade.

 

"Leonard, may I ask you something?" 

 

He glanced up at Spock and then focused his eyes back down on his work. "Alright, let me have it."

 

Spock let a silent beat pass between them before finally asking, "How long have you known?"

 

"Known what?"

 

"Known you felt this way about me?"

 

 He finishes mending Spock's wounds and looks at him.  _That's the first real thing you say to me after hiding out?_ He almost wanted to sidestep this seemingly pointless question but actually thinks about it for a moment. "I suppose since the incident with Gem. Course I felt this way before then too but I didn't want to face it."

 

"Why did you run from these feelings when you wear everything else on your sleeve?"

 

"You aren't the first Vulcan I loved and considering what happened with T'Lara . . ." He looked away and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

 

"Were you two bonded?"

 

He snorted a bit. The _irony_ in that one. "No. I certainly wanted to but she didn't. It was always something about how she would suffer because I would die before her. Or even how it wouldn't work with a human mind but that sure as hell isn't true. I should have taken it as a sign. I can't say I regret everything because I do have Joanna now but sometimes I wonder how it was _logical_  of her to go through all that." 

 

Spock inched slightly closer. "So, is she the reason you've often accosted me with racial epithets?"

 

McCoy shrank back a bit. This was all his fault in the first place. He sighed a bit and looked into Spock's lovely brown eyes. "Yes. I'm so sorry, Spock. If I could go back in time and take it all back I would. It's just . . . how I felt about you plus still being damn bitter about the divorce and custody battle . . ." He heaves a long-suffering sigh. "It all got mixed up together and I just ended up taking my frustrations out on you when they were really directed toward T'Lara. I really am so sorry, Spock. I understand if you can't forgive me for my apparent xenophobia over the years." He does not dare meet Spock's gaze in this moment.

 

"Leonard." Spock gently touched his chin, lifting it so McCoy was looking him in the eyes again. "I know and I forgive you." He held out two fingers. "I can hardly promise I'll be with you forever given the office I hold but I can promise we'll be bonded eventually if that would be to your liking." 

 

McCoy thickly swallowed, his heart swelling in his chest. He slowly raised a shaking hand and pressed two fingers against Spock's. "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot." He felt love radiate and pulse through their connected fingers. "I know it hasn't always been too clear but I love you very much, Spock." He moved his hand slightly and laced his fingers between Spock's.

 

A smile every so softly tugged at the corners of Spock's mouth. "I could say the same." A new, stronger, wave of love surged through heir connection and Bones had never felt happier.


	12. Chapter 12

Spock heard the chime to his door. "Come in." He had started to pack away his belongings in preparation for moving in with Leonard and Joanna. 

 

Joanna walked into his quarters. "Hello, Papa sent me to help you pack up your things. He wanted you to know he wanted to help too but id busy in sickbay today."

 

"I had deduced as much." He appraised her and how she had started to toy with the hard copies of books he owned. "If you could just sort those into the crate beside you it would be quite helpful."

 

"Should I separate the Vulcan texts from the Terran ones?"

 

Spock paused slightly before finally saying, "No, just put them in alphabetical order if they aren't already."

 

And with that Joanna got to work, making idle conversation as she transferred the books. "How long have you and Papa been together now?"

 

"Approximately five months, two weeks, and three days." He spoke listlessly as he started to clean out his closet, putting dress uniforms in one bag and regular duty uniforms in another.

 

"Earth time or Vulcan?"

 

Spock finally reached the section of his closet devoted to the few casual outfits he owned. He looked over a long black robe and considered where to put it. Eventually, he sorted it into the dress uniform bag. "Earth. Your father's had it on my mind more and more."

 

"Are you going to come to Atlanta with us when Papa is discharged?" 

 

Spock sorted a human suit into the bag with his formal attire. "Yes, but most likely not right away. I would be unable to leave until the end of the five-year mission."

 

She paused amidst her work. "Why not?"

 

"Your father's duty is to you once Dr. M'Benga takes his place. I have no replacement so my duty is still to the and to Starfleet. I would be . . .  _happier_ on Earth with you and your father but I cannot leave here in good conscious. Especially not when there's still so much scientific discovery to be made on this mission." 

 

Joanna nodded slightly.  "Do you promise to come to Atlanta after the mission is over?" 

 

A minute smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. "Yes, I promise."

 

As he finished packing his clothes away Spock meditated on the beautiful life they might have on Earth. There had been many a night where, while laying in bed with Spock, Leonard had described his childhood home in the most vivid detail. Of course, he also shown Spock pictures of the house, but nothing compared to the wistful nature and lilt of Leonard's voice as he painted the picture of the large wrap around porch, the vine-covered siding, the stout peach trees, and the lavender colored shutters. He talked at length about the shutters, his mother had insisted on the color because it was her favorite. Leonard missed his mother greatly. 

 

Just then Spock was pulled from his thoughts as the ship rocked gently from side to side and the lights flickered for a few seconds. Joanna looked up at the lighting and then back toward Spock. "How long did you say it would be until Dr. M'Benga comes aboard and Papa can leave?"

 

"I can't give an accurate estimate. We are aware he's in this area of space, either this solar system or a neighbor of its, but it could potentially take months to find him. And then, of course, you and your father would only be permitted to leave should he agree to take over as Chief Medical Officer until the end of the mission."

 

"I hope we find him soon. Space is scary . . . It already took mother . . ."

 

"I know, Joanna. And, I'm sure your father would share the same sentiments about space." He thought it was quite strange McCoy had chosen to work in space despite abhorring the place.

 

Just then the ship shook and the lights completely went off in Spock's quarters. Joanna cried out, "[A'nirih!](asdfas)"

 

"[Ka'i, ko-fu.](sdasdgf)" Spock walked to her and gently put a hand on her shoulder. "[Fa-wak kwon-sum nam-tor la na' du](ahfa%20sdf)." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for butchering the Vulcan I've put in this chapter. I also apologize for not staying on track with uploading chapters. But everything will be up in the next day or two. There are only two chapters left and I just need to transcribe them over to here.
> 
> The translation of the Vulcan phrases:   
> Joanna: "Father!"  
> Spock: "I am right here, daughter. I will always be here for you."


	13. Chapter 13

The moment McCoy felt the ship shake and saw its power dim, his mind raced wondering if Joanna was safe. He went to his comm terminal in sickbay, hurriedly jabbing his fingers into the buttons and calling into the device, "Spock? Spcok do you hear me? Joanna? Is this thing even working?!" He fiddled with the terminal, unable to even get static on the line. "Well, that's just  _typical_." 

 

Seconds later the ship violently shook again and a few injured crew members stumbled into sickbay. He could hardly leave his station to go find Joanna. He would just have to try and keep himself together and hope to God or whoever was listening that Spock was keeping his little girl safe.

 

As he patched up one of the engineering officers he could hardly stop himself from asking, "What's going on out there? We under attack or are things just on the fritz?"

 

"I can't say for certain, Captain Kirk never raised a yellow or even a red alert. All I know is this doesn't look like just a simple malfunction. The  _Enterprise_ has protocol in place to account for something like a power outage or overload or anything of that sort." The ship shook, harsher than the last time, almost making McCoy fall over. " _That_ also wouldn't happen because of a malfunction. There's either some kind of spacial anomaly out there or we're being attacked."

 

Leonard nervously wrung his hands. "Thanks for being frank." He moved onto his next patient, his mind overrun by anxiety and thought Joanna could be lying broken and bleeding somewhere. For all he knew Joanna could already be dead. His hands shook slightly as he patched up the last of the injured crew. 

 

He absentmindedly looked over at nurse Chapel and she informed him, "That's the last of them for now, doctor." When he didn't respond Christine took him by the arm and pulled him aside. "Leo, it's okay if you want to go now and get Joanna. I can tell you're worried about her." 

 

"I can't! I'm the only doctor on the ship. What if someone needs me? I can't just run off on account of my being a nervous wreck." He started to bite his fingernails.

 

"Most of the patients coming in are just superficial cuts and burns. I can take care of things here."

 

"But what if a more serious case comes in? I don't doubt your abilities, Christine. I think you've got the potential to be a great MD someday, but as of right now you simply don't have the training necessary to perform surgery on your own." 

 

She took his hand and pressed a communicator into his sweaty palm. "Just take this, Leo. I'll let you know if I need your help. It should work regardless of what happens to the ship given it doesn't require the ship's power or comm systems." Leonard dumbly looked down at the communicator and then back up at Chapel. "Go, Leonard. Go find Joanna," she urged. 

 

He quickly hugged her. "Thank you, you're too kind to an old ball of salt and nerves like me." And, which that, he was gone. He took off running down the corridors to Spock's quarters. 

 

He arrived at Spock's door and, through some feat of strength he would never be able to repeat, he pulled open the doors with his bare hands. Once he was inside, he was struck by the sound of a deeply melodic voice singing some kind of Vulcan song -- it almost sounded like a lullaby. It sounded like it was coming from Spock's closet. Leonard opened the door to his closet and immediately found a phaser was being pointed at his face. He held up his hands and lowly said, "It's  _me,_ Spock." 

 

Spock lowered his weapon and sighed. "I'm sorry, Leonard. I didn't know it was you and needed to protect Joanna." 

 

". . . Joanna is in there with you?" Spock slid the closet door open the rest of the way, revealing Joanna resting against Spock's chest, fast asleep. "My God, what happened?" He crouched down next to get a better look at his daughter.

 

"Nothing. She was frightened so I sang to calm her and she fell asleep."

 

"That sounds like a load of bull. I think what you really mean is you put her to sleep."

 

Spock quizzically gazed at McCoy. "What would you have done in my position? Had there been an intruder she might have caught herself in the crossfire."

 

Leonard shrugged. "Can't say I would have done anything differently. But, you shouldn't feed me bull." He leaned in and gently stroked Joanna's hair. He could not have felt more relieved about all this. Hysteric tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he quickly wiped them away. "I know I must look insane right now. I'm just so glad she's safe and that  _you're_ safe. I was so worried and -"

 

Spock pulled Leonard in, holding him close with his one free arm. "Sh, I understand Leonard." Just then the lights flickered back on. "And, it would appear everything is fine now."

 

"I know, I know. Thank you, darlin'. I don't know what I'd ever do without you."

 

Spock kissed Leonard's head. "Do you know what caused the power outage?"

 

"No, comm systems and everything else were down. The only thing I do know is that this all makes me want to get out of here a soon as possible -- whether we find M'Benga or not. Not that I  _want_ to leave you, Spock. But, you won't always be able to go out of your way to protect Joanna should something happen like it always does around here."

 

"I thought you might feel that way . . . Whatever the case, there are only nine months and two weeks left to the mission. I'll meet you on Earth sooner rather than later. But I'll still  _miss_ you. When will you leave?"

 

"Maybe a week from now just to straighten out everything." Spcok didn't say anything. He just kissed the top of Leonard's head and held him a bit closer. McCoy didn't need to hear the words to know how strongly Spock felt. 


	14. Epilouge

As Spock walked down the dusty road, keeping to the shade of the giant walnut trees that lined the street, he ran over the events that had led him here. He meditated on how lucky it had been that, just as McCoy and Joanna were ready to leave, they had found Dr. M'Benga. He had reminisced about his farewell to Leonard and Joanna many times in the months following their departure, focusing on Joanna's small smile and Leonard's sad tired eyes but impassioned goodbye kiss.

 

Spock almost absentmindedly touched his hand to his lips. Without Leonard, the last nine months of the mission had weighed heavily on his heart. Even though Leonard and Joanna had sent him messages almost daily some screen with a playback of them could hardly fill the void they had left on the ship and in his heart. 

 

He could not restrain his smile as he walked up to a house with lavender shutters. He hiked his bag up higher on his shoulder and climbed the steps of the palatial wrap-around porch. He rang the doorbell and heard McCoy fumble through his home and yell, "Just a minute!" 

 

When the door finally opened Leonard stood there in elated shock before rushing to hug Spock and kiss him deeply. The kiss left Spock's head spinning from the sheer amount of love it communicated. Leonard pulled back and straightened the collar of Spock's blue uniform shirt. "I wish you would have told me you were coming so soon. I would have cleaned the place up and cleared up your side of the closet. It's still a kind of a disaster area even though we've been here for months. There's just never enough time in the day!"

 

Spock laughed ever so slightly. "I wanted to surprise you, Leonard."

 

"Well, you certainly did a good job! Now, come on in. I'm sure Joanna will be jumping for joy to see you." The crooked grin and light in McCoy's eyes did not falter for even a second as he put an arm around Spock and led him inside. He called out, "Joanna, your [A'nirih](asdfh%20askgsdf) is finally home!" He turned to Spock and said with pride, "She's been doing so well. I know I told you in the messages but she's like a new person -- she's just so happy here and she's at the top of her grade too!" 

 

The door closed behind them and, standing there in a living room in Georgia with Leonard by his side and Joanna bounding down the stairs to greet him, for the first time in a very long time Spock really felt like he was home. As Joanna ran up and hugged him, telling him about every science project she had been doing in school, he knew this was where he had been meant to belong all along. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who read this to the end and stayed with the fic through all the updates! I'm glad so many of you liked this and I hope the ending was satisfying for all of you. Please let me know what you thought of the fic as a whole in the comments!
> 
> If anyone wants to support me and my writing you can donate to me at https://ko-fi.com/A2843M3W


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